I thought I would journal my journey to fat loss freedom, a daily progress of my struggles and successes in the quest to lose fat. Writing here holds me accountable because here the light is shining brightly on me. No longer can I hide in the dark with a Hostess HoHo (I loved those growing up) under the illusion no one will know. Funny, everyone knows except me! They can see the evidence on my body where I stand in the mirror refusing to see the reality I have created.
I went shopping the other day with a friend of mine. I looked at the clothes and refused to buy anything that was a size bigger. Why? I don't want to spend my hard earned money on clothes that look terrible on me. I want to feel joy while shopping for clothes. Not despair. I made a promise to myself that I will not buy any clothes in larger sizes. Nope! I will save and buy an outfit when I can fit into a smaller size.
I am tired of not feeling well. As I age, things like health care suddenly become important. Have I already decided that the rest of my life will be spent with doctors and the ever popular pill combining method? Take this for diabetes, this because the last pill cause high blood pressure, another pill because the blood pressure pill causes insomnia. Now take this one because the sleeping pill cause depression and finally take this pill because the anti depression causes weight gain. Oh, we have to up the diabetes mess because of the extra weight. Seriously? I don't want my life spent that way.
I have a swollen thyroid. It's called a goiter but that is an ugly name. Meds and surgery because my body is attacking itself. No, no, no... My body can heal itself if I quit giving it poison. This issue is that my body can't keep up with all the poison I ingest. My outward appearance is a direct result of what is happening on the inside. It's telling me I've got to make a change. My body is letting me know I can't keep abusing it any more. So I am listening and taking a stand to support my life.
I watched Joe Cross, Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. There was a couple who, since we are on this Earth for a short time, was going to live it to the fullest by eating Fried Chicken and gravy. I thought about that. Life to the fullest to me is visiting places I've never been and meeting new people. I don't want to be confined because of my weight.
Starting today, I am changing the way I look at food and how it makes me feel. Food is there to give my body strength so I can follow my dreams. It's not supposed to be my dreams. First, step is writing down everything I eat for the next three days and to drink 8 glasses of water.